according to the courts, it's not a crime what they did to me.....
and how could it be? they were willing participants
in ripping my child from me. those case workers in the city of Grand Rapids, Michigan - a group of people they have wrongly
named - Friend of the Court - friend of who? my ex-husband? his disturbed bride? the devil you say?
(i'm really trying not to be bitter...)
perhaps you are experiencing this torture now in your life....
perhaps you already experienced this torture in
perhaps this torture looms ominiously in your horizon....
although you can never recover....
you can learn to live with it....
you can learn to come to terms with your irrepairable wounds....
you can stop it if you know what it is & prove
who they really are....
and now.... you can even tell the world about it...
as part of a number of websites, i call "the network" you can read my personal inventory by clicking
here.... it gives you an idea of how similar we are.. you & me.... no matter your age, no matter your background, no matter
in order for this crime to be
successfully committed against you, there has to be injustice.... we embrace each other in our times of injustice & support
each other by prayer, never giving up hope & by forever continued diligent concern for our children who were separated
his ally? the state of michigan - court system - friend of the court... need i say more?
my case transpired almost ten years ago & i've hurt similar cases still happening
there. it's sad that no one has been able to hold them accountable.
it may take time for me to tell my story
completely... i'll finish it as i can...
i've been in counseling for the past three
years consistently with one counselor, but previously i was with several others, searching for one who could really help me
for the problem i truly was experiencing....
i guess the best place to start is at the
beginning, which according to the articles i have read about parental alienation, was far before i recognized
the beginning of the end of my second marriage.
about a year before things got really ugly...
my husband was acting strange. he had been
strange w/me since our arrival in Grand Rapids, MI. he'd moved there first, from Florida to start a new job as a county sheriff's
deputy. i had to stay in florida w/the kids, (2 girls from a previous marriage & 1 son from our marriage.
he had a vasectomy immediately following the birth of our son) because we still hadn't closed on our house.
He had convinced me to relinquish my child support upon moving to Grand
Rapids, his home town, because my first husband was threatening to take us to court to prevent the move. He gave in though
once the money for child support wasn't an issue though.
Geez, the money is always the first consideration it seems w/at least
one parent anyway. (probably considered an alienating comment) So after everything was finished in Florida,
I packed up the three kids, our puppy & a rooftop carrier with what was left at the house, mostly clothes, & took
off for Grand Rapids.
Destination: about 1600 miles
it was a rocky beginning in Grand
Rapids. he had moved us into an isolated apartment in the middle of a wood about 25 miles from Grand Rapids. There was a single
apartment building, containing about four - five apartments & we were all positioned at the end of the quarter mile bumpy
dirt road that led through the trees in the middle of a wood.
we were all out there....
but my husband was hardly out
there at all. he had picked up an extra part time job & with his duties at the sheriff's department, he was gone most
of the time. i took in some babies to watch, a set of twins, to make some extra money, but i was isolated out there... out
there in the middle of nowhere after living in west palm beach, florida, it was horrible.
to tell you the truth, things hadn't gone
well with us for most of our marriage. things were getting worse w/me & the kids stuck out in the middle of nowhere. it
was 30 minutes to the grocery store or the gas station. there was a small general store that was a few minutes away, but it
was mostly selling candy & beer. I protested continually about living out in the middle of nowhere. Finally, we moved
in towards town, into the suburb of Kentwood.
there were some serious problems even in Kentwood
though. my husband still seemed distant from me. he had told me:
"If you just lose a bit more weight, I'll love
that didn't sit right w/me. it haunted me. i kept saying over &
over to myself, "what's that supposed to mean?"
i was over the edge though. i'd
been in mental distress, depressed, anxious & probably experiencing post traumatic stress for years by then. even in the
suburbs, i was self medicating with alcohol. we had some good friends, but he was a cop & acted much the same as my husband.
there was always alot of alcohol being taken in. it just wasn't a good thing.
he became physically abusive when my daughter who was about
ten or eleven at the time, lied to him about something - or so he thought she did anyway. he slapped her with all his strength
across the face with an open hand. i watched in horror but afraid to speak. i was in a trance. i couldn't believe what had
just transpired. shock was setting in. my daughter was devastated at that very moment.
it would take years for her to forgive me for not intervening
at that exact moment to defend her. not until she became an adult did we discuss it. she had been a victim of my infirmities.
i had not the strength left to fight him or the clarity of mind to determine what was normal & what was abusive. although
i saw it in my mind's eye as abuse, i still was frozen to do anything about it.
after years of abuse.....
perhaps they were right.... perhaps i didn't
love my child enough... perhaps the fact that he was so unique, so individual, so creative, so mannered, so attractive to
someone not able to raise a child of his magnificant presence... that i deserved to have someone steal him from me.
perhaps because i was a victim
of post traumatic stress.... not making wise decisions.... not the owner of any self esteem.... not one who possessed a clear
mind..... i was fine to marry, fine to have children with, but despicable to continue to raise the most wonderful boy that
he was - so pure of heart....
after years of emotional abuse by his father.....
why shouldn't he join forces with an evil abductor and cast
the final strike upon me - the strike that would never satisfy them & never allow me to be the mother my son deserved
me to be
my ex-husband was a police officer. he was an emotional abuser. he was an expert at infidelity. he lives his life feeding upon the
control of others... and still he is the most miserable soul, tortured & unable to truly love or be loved...
he married for the fifth time....
his soulmate, his partner in crime....
the woman who vowed to me, "i've stolen your husband and i will steal your son from you as well....." what kind of person
is she? mother of a single child, a son, who lived with his father, why was that so? her son, irrepairably injured as well
by her greed, evil doings & need for control....
in my situation there were no winners.... we were all inclusive
in the explosion of a family unit - as dysfunctional as it was - it was a family unit.